Parktown prawn

I arrived at work today to find my friend hopping along in a moonboot having lost a fight with a very vicious Parktown prawn so I thought it wise to tell you about it in case you come to Joburg and have not encountered one yet (and if not, pray you never do!) So the Parktown prawn is technically related to the cricket family but it is a horrible looking insect of about 5cm that not only can jump very high and very far (and almost always towards the target – that being you), they also excrete a horrible black fluid. They are not easy to kill and it is always a very messy business. What you do not want to do (and which my friend as a Joburger should have known) is spray it with Doom or some other insecticide as it will just upset the creature who will come at you with a vengeance and if you do not die of a heart attack as it jumps on you, you are likely to fall off your bed trying to escape its claws and break your foot. I prefer to run and get someone else to go take care of it, usually with the aid of a tennis racket, hockey stick, broom – anything that can knock it unconscious while they then try and get it in a bucket to get it out the house. I am not a fan of killing innocent insects but if you happen to kill this in your ‘rescue’ attempt, do not feel bad or be alarmed – there are enough around to avenge it’s death. If you travel to Namibia, they unfortunately have a worse kind which looks like the prawn but with protective armor and shields especially on the road to the Forest of Quiver Trees where you will encounter hundreds crossing the sandy roads. While you drive over them which is impossible to avoid even if you try, the rest will come to feed on the dead – like something out of a zombie movie. Be afraid, be very afraid!

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